Alternative activity to masturbation that may not wake the neighbours up…

Watching a film (quietly)
Calling up an insomniac (must ask around)
Playing boggle
Scanning the Facebook wall
Reading or commenting on WordPress stuff
Posting WordPress stuff
Quietly using my rowing machine
Having a hot drink (Chai, hot chocolate, fruit tea)
Going for a stroll (acquire new raincoat)
Take more meds to sleep easier
Quiet tidying up

Mental note to self : go to bed in jeans for more difficult access.

See previous post “my penis” for more information…



Why do goats eat everything?

Because they are baaaaaaaaaad.

Hang on isn’t that a sheepish noise though?


My penis…

Well my penis is still inflamed on the inside because I have trouble leaving it alone. Sleepless nights do not help. It is not infected, however it does leave me more prone to infection should I have sex. It has been this way for 6 months, if I could just do something else for two or three weeks I would be fine. I really do not know what to do about it :0( …


Bloodnok     (hums) Christmas in Capri – let’s count the moolah.
Moriarty     Hands up!
Bloodnok     Ah! Great thundering widgets of Kludge! Put down that double-action hydraulic-recoil eighteen-inch Howitzer.”


Social skills tip…

I am not too sure that it is always advisable to stare longingly into a lovely lady’s cleavage in order to proceed with modern forms of courtship. Especially not if this lady is your sister or mum. However if it’s of bum cleavage then make sure no one is looking as it’s easier to get away with…

The Hotel cigarette break…

Stood bums against the wall in lazy posture, facing commercial blocks of hotels and medium priced offices, inhaling of the evil weed nicotine in relief of remaining still for a while… “Jamie”, I said with an air of firm certainty as if I were a little better travelled. “There are certain kinds of Women in this world”… “Who, well, just want to use your face instead of a toilet”, “and these kinds of women are really not very nice…”