Monthly Archives: May 2014

Alternative activity to masturbation that may not wake the neighbours up…

Reading
Writing
Chanting
Watching a film (quietly)
Calling up an insomniac (must ask around)
Playing boggle
Scanning the Facebook wall
Reading or commenting on WordPress stuff
Posting WordPress stuff
Doodling
Quietly using my rowing machine
Having a hot drink (Chai, hot chocolate, fruit tea)
Going for a stroll (acquire new raincoat)
Take more meds to sleep easier
Quiet tidying up

Mental note to self : go to bed in jeans for more difficult access.

See previous post “my penis” for more information…

My penis…

Well my penis is still inflamed on the inside because I have trouble leaving it alone. Sleepless nights do not help. It is not infected, however it does leave me more prone to infection should I have sex. It has been this way for 6 months, if I could just do something else for two or three weeks I would be fine. I really do not know what to do about it :0( …

FOILED BY PRESIDENT FRED…

“F.X.     DOOR SLAMS.
Bloodnok     (hums) Christmas in Capri – let’s count the moolah.
F.X.     DOOR OPENS.
Moriarty     Hands up!
Bloodnok     Ah! Great thundering widgets of Kludge! Put down that double-action hydraulic-recoil eighteen-inch Howitzer.”

Fin…

Social skills tip…

I am not too sure that it is always advisable to stare longingly into a lovely lady’s cleavage in order to proceed with modern forms of courtship. Especially not if this lady is your sister or mum. However if it’s of bum cleavage then make sure no one is looking as it’s easier to get away with…

The Hotel cigarette break…

Stood bums against the wall in lazy posture, facing commercial blocks of hotels and medium priced offices, inhaling of the evil weed nicotine in relief of remaining still for a while… “Jamie”, I said with an air of firm certainty as if I were a little better travelled. “There are certain kinds of Women in this world”… “Who, well, just want to use your face instead of a toilet”, “and these kinds of women are really not very nice…”

Tuesdays…

Although today is actually Friday. I was thinking about the phrase which has been reputedly used and  greatly emphasised in the children’s cartoon “Sponge Bob Square pants”. The phrase being ” See you next Tuesday” which in modern kids Jive is “C u next Tuesday”. I am careful not to use this phrase as the initials spell out a highly inappropriate word, which is apparently not to be used around young or old ladies alike. Although it seems that I am invariably quite happy to use and emphasise the word “Cunt”, even with the slightest drop of alcohol or anger invoking event or conversation. Funny old world…