Monthly Archives: August 2014

Witches…

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There are hundreds of witches out behind the library in Rougemont gardens. They are attempting to break a world record of the most witches gathered in one place witch is currently a not that impressive 765. They are also trying to get a pardon for three witches Temperance Lloyd, Susannah Edwards and Mary Trembles who were hung in Exeter 300 odd years ago. If nothing else this wonderful yet naïve inability to let go of things would at least prove some kind of loyalty to one another. I imagine dressing up as a witch could also remind a woman of when she is good and when she is wicked and thus help her to correct her behaviour. And they probably have good ideas about natural skin care too I would bet. They have gathered from literally hundreds(wow) of miles and are having a picnic…

The was an old woman…

Who I would tell people at parties if I was to socialise more, helped me carry my shopping home once. I was struggling and stopping and starting on the way home from Sainsbury’s, to be fair I was doing more stopping than starting, it was heavy stuff packed with loads of tin’s and fruit juice. I think this also reflects the kind of guy I am, I am soft and quite frankly a bit easy and sheepish. So I am already speaking inappropriately fairly often. People still want to trample me even more and I have had enough of it. So I have devised a few ways to be less considerate, here are a few…

Push in front of old ladies etc for the bus.
Sit closer to the front of the bus (even though I realised if you sit with the old you sit with incontinence (ie urine, piss, wee))
Do not pet other peoples animals. Do not say please and thank you as much.
Look at people funny more.
Don’t check out girls/ladies – they like it even if they moan about it, in fact I think they like it even more if it gives them a reason to pick fault in someone else.
Swear more.
Do not say thanks or give praise if people are generally wank at things, otherwise they will always be wank at things and continue to think otherwise.
Be generally less apologetic.
Be generally less complimentary.

I have been a very chivalrous person until nowish, your loss Exeter.

Respect is a two way thing.

Fin…

Sound…

How many sound engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
That’s obviously a matter of dynamics.

How many sound engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don’t know like eq it a bit.

How many sound engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Your kidding, I have to stand up?

Fin…

Facts…

I know not the first thing about anything. Yet after I am consumed by the promiscuity and promise of relaxed warmth, that the nectars containing alcohol brings upon the departure of my sobriety, I will know the last thing about everything…

I don’t know the first thing about anything, but if I am pissed I know the last thing about everything.

I don’t know nuthink, unless I’m pissed, then I’m a riaght loud mouth, know what am sayin…