Social skills – Expressions…

Express things silently for at least one communication a day, this will help your facial expressions and body language should you feel like your soul is dead and nobody ever fucking cared and never fucking will,  and also this will not seem forced or feigned like when you look in a mirror or video camera. Do not do this around a complete dickhead who does not care about you…

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Social skills – The art of conversation…

What do you think of radio four?

Perhaps I should listen to radio one instead?

Do you enjoy stabbing people to death? Only a joke, ho ho…

Do you enjoy going to the pub? I don’t, I wonder why I come here it is boring…

Do you play an instrument, have a dog, a cat, watch porn, own a cousin, surely there must be something…

Do you keep people in cages on your back garden?

Perhaps you should not do that.

Do you enjoy acts of mindless violence?

No, well how about ice skating?

Drinking pints is fun, yup drinking pints…

Career Choice…

Well I was going to be rejected from my mothers vagina along with loads of blood and other forms of sticky residue, that perhaps would not be comparable to the contents of bio yogurt.
However, as it turns out I was indeed fertilised into the world by the seamen of a less fortunate born man, and so my life was ruined…

If Spirytus had advertising…

Spirytus neutral grain spirit is a 95% Polish / Estonian vodka beverage, it is not exactly what many people would describe as expensive to buy, it is cheap… (may as well be petrol)

Here is the advertising I imagine for such a drink…

All your family were killed in a plane crash, you are too depressed to work and now live in a hedge…

Drink Spirytus…

Your loved ones were raped by gangsters and you were punished by being locked in a high security mental ward for complaining…

Drink Spirytus…

For some reason everyone you know have committed suicide or gone to prison…

Drink Spirytus…

You were beaten, robbed and burnt alive because someone else owed someone else some money, now you can only write with half the alphabet…

Drink Spirytus…

Tried committing suicide only to survive and now you speak in the dialect of small primates and poo yourself…

Drink Spirytus…

You and all your friends were molested at school, and given bad exam results for being a naughty tale tale, now you are a prostitute who is thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of monetary units in debt (or even millions)…

Drink Spirytus…

There is no justice in the world, except on television.

But who the hell has a television…

Drink Spirytus…

You are dead? Tsk tsk tsk, no Spirytus for you…

Drink Spirytus, the best medical care that money can buy…

Now with Vitamin S…