The was an old woman…

Who I would tell people at parties if I was to socialise more, helped me carry my shopping home once. I was struggling and stopping and starting on the way home from Sainsbury’s, to be fair I was doing more stopping than starting, it was heavy stuff packed with loads of tin’s and fruit juice. I think this also reflects the kind of guy I am, I am soft and quite frankly a bit easy and sheepish. So I am already speaking inappropriately fairly often. People still want to trample me even more and I have had enough of it. So I have devised a few ways to be less considerate, here are a few…

Push in front of old ladies etc for the bus.
Sit closer to the front of the bus (even though I realised if you sit with the old you sit with incontinence (ie urine, piss, wee))
Do not pet other peoples animals. Do not say please and thank you as much.
Look at people funny more.
Don’t check out girls/ladies – they like it even if they moan about it, in fact I think they like it even more if it gives them a reason to pick fault in someone else.
Swear more.
Do not say thanks or give praise if people are generally wank at things, otherwise they will always be wank at things and continue to think otherwise.
Be generally less apologetic.
Be generally less complimentary.

I have been a very chivalrous person until nowish, your loss Exeter.

Respect is a two way thing.

Fin…

Fudging Women… (rude)

Things you can shout instead of “Fu#@ you you filthy Fu@$ing Sl)t” in an argument with a loved one…

I wanna go and live in a light house.

I have had enough, I am going to live with the queen.

Why don’t you just go and hug yourself.

You insolent idiot, I hate all of your stupid friends who live in the television.

Well I look great in your underwear so I don’t need you anymore anyway.

Well your just a massive boob.

Boob face.

Your roots are showing, and everyone knows it.

I want a new bloody toaster.

All my friends who live in the television said I could do better anyway…

Girls…

I have reached to the conclusion that telling a potential female mate or sexual partner, In an area of public alcohol consumption or other places where one is supposed to meet females? That she is a “picture of loveliness”; may very well end up with the two of us having fun in a field or bedroom. Is this true? Answers in the comments section please…